Rachel C. Sykes
I Work with Stressed Out Professional Women

Licensed in Massachusetts & New Hampshire
Rachel C. Sykes, LMHC, LLC
Rachel@rachelcsykes.com

Are you looking?

I know a lot of people that are presently on the hunt for their next position.  Some folks got laid off, others took advantage of a decent package and jumped ship. Yet others simply really wanted a change. I have seen some really skilled and experienced candidates that have been “on the market” for longer than they expected.  That can be so hard!  Could an ageist culture that favors younger, less experienced at a lower price point be a factor?  Yep.  I also see that the higher up in an organization you have worked and the more requirements you have, the fewer the opportunities.  There just aren’t as many C-level or otherwise senior positions out there.  Unemployment in the US is actually pretty low, in that the monthly federal stats report that unemployment is hovering around 4% (seasonally adjusted, of course) which is low in historical terms.  Let’s not quibble about the methodological weaknesses present in calculating this figure – perhaps we can agree that it’s useful directionally, yah?

We have lots of financial obligations

It’s common for people to become increasingly responsible for the welfare of others over time. 

I mean that people may start/grow a family by having children or, even better, furry children (cats and dogs). Perhaps we are obliged to help out aging parents or become somehow responsible for a sibling who requires long-term support.  If we’re lucky, maybe we have a home, some cars, and other nice things that we have to pay off and invest in over time.  The more money we have, it seems like the more money we need.  When someone in this scenario loses a job, maintaining the status quo is usually their immediate goal, so they feel the pressure.

If you’re fortunate, unemployment income is less meaningful

Again, when considering those in high performing, well-compensated positions, unemployment income is helpful but insufficient.  I imagine that there are many opinions on the subject of unemployment but most people that I know, claim these benefits to help cover the basics.  However, when you are accustomed to making significantly more money, it feels like chump change.  A nice kind of a problem but a problem for that person nonetheless.  Sometimes, a protracted period of unemployment requires a critical look at “must haves” and even requires significant changes in spending as well as thinking.  This process can require a re-defining oneself and feel like a threat to one’s identity.

 Issues of identity

After many years of reasonably successful employment, it’s common for one’s sense of self to be dominated by your work self.  Now, I am not actually saying it’s a good thing-just that it’s common. I see it as putting too many eggs in one basket, or a problem of diversification (that’s for you, finance friends).  As such, when such a person who identifies primarily with their work self loses a job, it can feel like a really blow to one’s self esteem.  This can feel like a personal attack when it then takes longer than expected to find one’s next role. As a therapist, I encourage such folks to deepen and broaden their identity to include other aspects of themselves—it’s so interesting to hear about people’s values, interests and passions from their lives before landing in a demanding corporate job that somehow took them over.  Sometimes there are ways to re-connect to these buried passions or perhaps to find new areas for development that can add meaning to one’s lives and that of their families.  In addition to creating more opportunities for meaning, such an exercise also improves resiliency such that future threats to identity don’t have to feel so catastrophic. 

Issues of control

Okay, I talk about control with so many of my clients!!  I see that people spend so much time and energy trying to make things happen that they literally cannot control, and they suffer.  A lot. When you are looking for a job, obviously, the goal is to become gainfully employed, ideally in a job of one’s choice.  The trick with focusing exclusively on this one outcome is that you literally cannot hire yourself, so you are measuring all your efforts by something that someone else does.  Now, you certainly can influence those that make the hiring decision by preparing, researching, networking, being on time, following up, etc. but that’s it.  It is worthwhile to honestly assess your own efforts to identify areas for improvement and to solicit similar feedback from trusted professional contacts.  If there are areas for improvement, work on them.  However, sometimes, it’s just not about you.  It’s not about you. It’s not about you.

Haven’t you worked in roles where someone at your company shut down your approval to hire a new or replacement position?  Even after you’ve started the recruitment process and identified great candidates? I have.  Maybe hiring is “frozen”, which somehow is supposed to be better than canceled altogether.  Sometimes, a colleague pulls a power move and you are forced to redefine the role or the requisition gets reallocated to someone else.  Remember this?  This is what it feels like when you are on the other side of the desk on the hiring proposition. 

I suggest coming up with concrete objectives to ensure you remain on track in your job search.  Make sure your objectives are measurable and controllable by you.  So, if you need to update your resume for a specific job, get it done.  Make at least three (or whatever) requests for in-person or virtual networking appointments (I prefer meeting IRL for real cups of coffee but virtual is sometimes easier for others).  Spend a predetermined amount of time on LinkedIn looking at jobs and reaching out to others.  Make sure you exercise every day. Brush up on relevant training or industry and academic research. Whatever.  These are things that align with your desired but uncontrollable outcome and can influence decision-makers.  Honestly assess your performance in these areas and rely on past experience and input from trusted others that you are doing all within your control to move forward.  In the future, you may look back on this time of job search as a challenge but ultimately, you will see that you made a series of decisions that propelled you forward, even if some of the steps were unexpected.

Contact me

Check out my website or request an appointment or ask for a free 15-minute consultation.

email: Rachel@rachelcsykes.com
phone: 781-630-4670