Menopause: Help! What is this nightmare?
Rachel Sykes
| I Work with Stressed Out Professional Women | Licensed in Massachusetts
Rachel C. Sykes, LMHC, LLC
Rachel@rachelcsykes.com
rachelcsykes.com
What is this?
I recall the first time someone mentioned that I might be experiencing early menopause symptoms. I don’t even remember what the “symptom” was at that point; I just remember being surprised and offended. I was probably 35 and taking a yoga class and it kinda wiped the zen off me for a little while. Upon reflection, I guess I thought of menopause as something that happened to much older women and that it was an extremely personal thing to mention in a yoga class. I am in my 50s now and am definitely dealing with the early stages of menopause (perimenopause) and I have quite a different perspective. I also know that some of my readers will not be comfortable reading an article about menopause but I feel strongly that women feel supported in this major phase of life and that telling women to suffer silently is no longer acceptable.
I have a few thoughts to share:
Since 50%+ of the world’s population experiences menopause, why should I be embarrassed?
I am not embarrassed about my age--in fact, I am much happier in many ways than I ever have been and I am optimistic about my life. I love what I do for work, I have a great boss (me 😊), I am getting along well with my partner and my family, and have been fortunate to be pretty healthy. This is a normal phase of life and I don’t think we should feel alone in this. By the way, even women who end their child-bearing phase with surgical treatments such as a hysterectomy may experience menopausal symptoms.
I have found that some of my clients have been relieved to be able to discuss menopause, which is one of the reasons I am writing this blog. I am a big proponent of women advocating for their own health and I think that the right doctor will either discuss this with you or refer you to someone who can. I also believe that women should be able to discuss this natural process with family and friends, as there may be times when support and understanding really helps.
Why is there so little legit information on menopause?
Again, I think discussion of women’s periods makes people uncomfortable, so, when we ask about it, we are shamed into silence.
Menopause seems like the same thing, except now we are referring to older women who seem to have less value in society, so it is considered vulgar and selfish to discuss this normal but challenging process. Suffer in silence? Nope.
So embarrasing
Photo by Dmitry Ratushny on Unsplash
Do you have a good gynecologist?
Are you in a position to get proper medical care? If you are fortunate enough to say yes, please demonstrate your appreciation for this privilege by taking care of your health. I will also say that there are some talented, dedicated providers that work in clinics that offer lower costs services, so it is worth asking some questions. Personally, I have had a few OB/GYN doctors I liked but they have moved or left the business altogether, and it been a challenge. My primary care physician recently referred me to a knowledgeable gynecologist who I really like. She has invested time and energy into my health and guess what? She has been able to help me significantly reduce my own peri-menopausal symptoms!! Can you believe it? After all the years of being told in a quiet voice to use a heating pad, take some Motrin, and go to bed early, I finally am receiving actual medical advice.
Stay cool
Some things I have learned
Menopause is actually a single point in time that denotes the end of one’s ongoing menstruation that is so marked by one year of no periods. Before then, you may be experiencing peri-menopausal symptoms such as changes in menstrual blood flow including spotting, (evil) hot flashes, difficulty sleeping, changes in one’s mental health (think anxiety and depression), vaginal dryness, as well as changes in skin, hair, etc. I admit that I have had times when I have been incredibly irritable and felt the need to clearly express my opinions (okay, well, it is possible that I have always done this). I am not a doctor—I am a therapist—so please don’t mistake my personal observations with formal recommendations or diagnoses from a gynecologist or other medically trained professional.
Menopause-what is this nightmare?
Recently, my helpful new gynecologist suggested that I consider going on birth control to deal with break through bleeding. I don’t like to take unnecessary medicine, so declined. At first. Until I started getting hot flashes. At that point, I would have tried just about anything to get rid of my sweaty neck, chest, and torso, and the dreaded nightly hot sweats. I started taking low dose estrogen pills and it totally worked. My hot flashes are pretty much gone. Another effect from this medication was that it kind of evened out my mood. I am not even sure that is the right way to describe it but I had been feeling so exhausted, it seemed as if I were always operating in that wound up, giddy space when you haven’t slept in a day or two, right before you fall into an exhausted stupor. I, of course, did not fall asleep like that, and I was pretty much used to feeling that way. I don’t know how long I felt like this and I even kind of miss the frenetic energy. This was an adjustment but I must say that I feel pretty good these days.
Why am I blogging about this? Because a lot of women are likely suffering needlessly, operating in a vacuum of information and feeling uncomfortable discussing their symptoms with medical professionals, friends, and family. Some women experience such a change in mood, memory, energy, sleep, changes in hair, skin, etc. and they have no idea that it is normal and that perhaps, there are things that can be done to moderate the symptoms. I also know some women who report none of these symptoms, and if that’s you, I am thrilled for you. Seriously. However, let’s not shame women dealing with these common and sometimes severe symptoms and offer support and hope.
Contact me
Are you interested in seeing if I may be the right therapist for you?* I suggest you check out my website to see if you are picking up what I am putting down. You can request an appointment or call/email to ask for a free 15-minute consultation.
email: Rachel@rachelcsykes.com
phone: 617.804.6471
* I am licensed to work in Massachusetts.
Resources
https://www.letstalkmenopause.org/connect
https://www.menopause.org/
Harvard Business Review article: https://hbr.org/2020/02/its-time-to-start-talking-about-menopause-at-work
US Department of Health and Human Services/National Institutes of Health: https://www.nichd.nih.gov/health/topics/menopause/more_information/resources
Jean Hailes for Women’s Health (Australia): https://www.jeanhailes.org.au/resources/menopause-fact-sheet
WBZ News Article (5/8/2023): Is hormone therapy ok for menopause? Brigham specialist says 'benefits far outweigh the risks'