What Does Mother’s Day Mean to Your Family?
Rachel Sykes
| I Work with Stressed Out Professional Women |
| Licensed in Massachusetts
Rachel C. Sykes, LMHC, LLC
Rachel@rachelcsykes.com
When I think of Mother’s Day, I tend to think of my own mother and what I need to do to help her celebrate the day. We generally do a family meal either in a local restaurant or in one of our homes. I like outsourcing to the skilled professionals but I let my Mom choose on Mother’s Day. : ) I can’t forget to buy the big, sparkly Mother’s Day card with birds on it (every card for her has to have birds on it), as I actually think that means more to her than the family meal. Some of my friends have lost their mothers and they get a little sad about this holiday, even if they are themselves mothers with their own family celebrations. And of course, there are some folks with poor or no relationships with their own mothers and this holiday can also be tough in its own way.
Do you have a mom or a wife to celebrate?
Are you looking for a way to honor your mother/wife/partner/mother of your children? If she is alive and a part of your life, perhaps you can ask her!!! Hey, perhaps you can do something for her that she might not do for herself. Have you considered taking responsibility for some task or activity? For example, could you own planning the kids’ birthday parties or family holidays? What about organizing family vacations? Could you commit to cleaning the house every time you are home with your children rather than leaving that mess for your wife/partner? If you do this stuff already, that’s awesome. I happen to believe that organizational skills are not gender-based skills, so men are just as capable of doing these tasks as women. I hope you do, too.
Thanks, Mom
Photo by Sebastián León Prado on Unsplash
If your mother has passed away, I wonder if there is a way to celebrate her life. Could you recall something unique to her and find a way to celebrate? Another approach might be to honor your mother through service. Was there a cause about which she was passionate? Could you contribute time or money to a non-profit that aligns with your mom’s favorite cause?
Is it a mother’s role to suffer?
Yeah, I am throwing this in the mix. While I think parenting is pretty hard, in large part because you never get a break, some parents/families/cultures believe that mothers should be responsible for managing every aspect of family and home life. Sometimes this means that mothers/wives/partners are expected to always put everyone else’ needs before their own. Is this how you see the world? In my professional experience, I see this expectation with many of my clients and their families and it can be a very lonely, unappreciated, and massive responsibility. This is compounded when these same women/mothers also hold down a job outside the home. I am not trying to impose my personal views upon my clients. However, I probably am trying to help them identify their beliefs and areas in which they experience conflict with their beliefs with the hope that they will find new solutions.
Tell me (or others) what you want
If this is your big day, can you give some thought to what you would really like? This blog post is not a list of 2024’s ten hottest mother’s day gifts, so I don’t have any specific ideas. However, I would suggest you consider strategic gifts rather than tactical ones. What I mean is that perhaps you can use your family’s attention to make some changes. In your house, are the chores shared equitably? In general? I hope so. If not, perhaps you could ask for that kind of gift.
Do you have nothing to celebrate here?
grieving a loss
Photo by Kristina Tripkovic on Unsplash
Let’s be honest, some folks have complicated or poor relationships with their mothers. While I truly believe that most mothers do their best even when they make mistakes, there are unfortunately some exceptions. I try to refrain from offering unhelpful advice to clients or people I know personally such as “You have to forgive them because they’re family”. I don’t think I am in charge of other people’s relationships or decisions (my own are hard enough). If folks want to make an effort to repair damaged relationships, great. If they don’t want to do this, that is just as equally great.
IDEA: If someone you know is feeling left out of holidays like Mother’s Day, perhaps you could invite them to celebrate with your family. I know my mother would always like that.
Questions?
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email: Rachel@rachelcsykes.com
phone: 617.804.6471